1. It’s Monday and my first day back at work.

Enough said right?

2. Dear Miss Maier, your bank account needs a fill up.

Since the last three weeks of my life consisted of buying Christmas gifts, a little vacation, eating, sleeping, and of course more eating, my bank account looked more than blank. And since I am a conscientious person, I wanted to make the “-” on my bank account into a “+”. Some of you might think that that was my second downer today, but nooo, just wait for it. So before I drove to the office, I stopped at the bank, hopped in to give my hard-earned money to one of these bank-sharks (or bastards as I like to call them). With the luck I already had, I was sure that there would be no damn parking spot available and of course I was right. So, I decided to just stop in the “absolutely no fucking parking” zone. For exactly TWO minutes! I came out of the bank, with no cash in my pocket and the lovely view of a police officer writing me a goddamn ticket! Seriously? I tried talking to the police woman (who was obviously also having a bloody Monday) but no chance this time. 60 € gone down the drain. Why don’t you super-smart police people try catching the thieves who get away with tax fraud in the amount of millions … or better, billions!?

3. I totally did a “Kevin alone at home”.

For those who have seen “Kevin Home Alone” a bunch of times, you might already know which part I’m talking about. After all the crap that has happened, this topped it off again (literally) left me crying in the streets. My 9-5 job isn’t exactly the most fulfilling. But anyway, that’s another story. Back to the actual subject: By now you know that my bank account shows a gigantic zero … and that’s the same with my fridge. My waist hated me but I couldn’t resist all those goodies that mum left behind before she flew to Southeast Asia. So, I had no choice but to go out to by milk, vegetables, bread, butter, cereals and all the other crap you don’t really need. Coming out of the supermarket, I was loaded with groceries. And because I wanted to stretch my legs a little, I decided to leave the car behind (bad, really bad idea). After 50 meters of walking, the bag ripped apart and that was it for me. I didn’t know whether to scream or cry. I did both…

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

So here goes: Please, please just get me out of my misery and let this day come to an end. It’s been far too long already!