We just returned from a trip to Burkina Faso.

We didn’t really plan this trip at all. It was an instinct decision that could have gone terribly wrong. Just two days after booking our tickets, the French invasion of Mali began and we were a bit uncomfortable after realizing that travel warnings had been set up for the Northern part of the country and therefore also the “Festival au Désert” had been postponed. But we wouldn’t be ourselves if this would have kept us from going, so we quickly shoved our initial concerns aside and started planning the trip.

We’ve been to Africa a couple of times before and knew that booking a hotel in advance is a must when the plane arrives after dark as it was the case with us. Many airports in Africa tend to welcome you either in twilight or in complete darkness and facilities are often not up to international standards, which was the same in Ouagadougou. Money changing facilities or hotel/car/tourist info counters didn’t make it here yet … or at least not at 11 pm.

As it often happens to us (or at least it feels like it), we managed to pick the slowest line to get through immigration, therefore we were also the last ones to exit into the arrival hall. A bunch of taxi drivers immediately jumped on us, but we had a pick up arranged through the hotel. Yet the driver was not in sight, so we started to look around a bit. The only brightly lit shop was a strange looking butcher … not what you’d usually expect upon arrival.

Ok, so what now? No money changer anywhere, mosquitoes and a bunch of people who were just as bothering as the mosquitoes. Finally someone pointed at a little cubicle with tinted windows; we opened the screeching door and it was an ATM machine. We just hoped that the machine wouldn’t swallow our credit card (as it was just the first day and we didn’t have any money yet), but it actually worked. As we expected, all over sudden we (again) became very interesting for everybody.

Time Is Slow In Africa.

Time is slow in Africa, so we didn’t stress out either. We asked someone to “borrow” us his mobile phone for which we had to pay and exorbitant amount – this is what you call a tourist trap – but we couldn’t be bothered since we just wanted to get to the hotel. We tend to call these things “development assistance”. Anyway, we could get a hold of our promised driver who had just been taking a nap in the airport parking lot. Now we were on our way in a battered old Peugeot 504, whose good days have long passed. But the engine was purring like a kitty … apart from some insignificant hick ups of the exhaust pipe.

Our driver totally obeyed the traffic rules, which is rather uncommon in these countries. He even drove at normal speed and assured us that we would be at our hotel in no time. And he was right. Residence Galiam turned out to be a good choice in a quiet neighbourhood with a little pool and a pleasant front yard. By midnight we were sleeping like babies, ready for what the next morning would hold…

Here’s a short flashback: We spent two weeks in Thailand at the end of September this year. ”Beach paradise here we come” turned into “Beach paradise where are you?” It was raining cats and dogs for days in a row, so we decided to leave Koh Kood island and explore Bangkok.

What can I say? Bangkok itself is great. You just have to leave all the tourist areas (which is not that easy because it’s THE tourist capital in southeast Asia), and start exploring the rural areas & markets. BUT, if you decide to hit the road with a tuk-tuk or taxi, be sure to watch out, because chances of getting ripped off are … well, high! Why? In my opinion there’s only one simple reason: There are far too many tourists. I mean honestly, most Thais try to rip you off pretty much everywhere. They want your money and they’ll do anything to get it…

Buses in Bangkok provide an incredibly cheap way to travel from one side of the city to another. It’s also a great way to see the real Bangkok you don’t often see if you’re travelling by other means of transportation.

Anyway, to get a feeling on what I’m talking about, here are three of our experiences with tuk-tuk & taxis in Bangkok:

Scene 1.

It’s 5.30 in the morning and we need to get to Ekkamai bus station. The hotel staff waves up a taxi and tells him where we want to go. So as he starts driving (and doesn’t start the taximeter himself), I ask how much he wants. He replied “Ohhhh, Ekkamai very far, so 200 bath.” He obviously didn’t know that we’ve been to Ekkamai the day before to buy our tickets and therefore we knew that “very far” it not that far after all. So I asked if he was crazy and I wanted him to start the meter. He them seemed to realize that we knew where we wanted to go … still, he didn’t want to give in so he drove a little scenic tour (but since it was early I didn’t bother) and at 81 Bath, the bus station came into sight. He was nice in the end and joked “Haha, sorry 200 Bath to Ekkamai”.

Résumé: No matter how nice (or old) your driver is, they only want your money!

Scene 2.

We’ve been walking and waking and walking for I don’t know how long and decided to take a tuk-tuk for the last couple of kilometres. Chao Phraya river was our goal. As soon as we waited along the street, a tuk-tuk driver came along. I asked how much be wanted and he told me 200 Bath. I (again) asked if he was crazy. He just said: “Ok ok we make cheaper, you come in.” So we step into the tuk-tuk and he started driving. Again, I asked how much he wanted. He didn’t reply. After maybe 200 meters he stopped and turned around to show us something. “You come with me to my sponsor, then I make you very cheap price.” I said “No.” He said: “ You only look there, I get extra money from sponsor if I bring you there and then cheap for you.” I started getting pissed off and told him: “You either bring us there for 50 Bath or we go now!” He started getting rude, cursed something is Thai and told us to leave. What we gladly did!

Résumé: Stay away from tuk-tuk drivers. They’re only after (guess what) your money! And if you do give in and drive to these “sponsors”, be prepared to pretty much be forced to buy some really expensive rubbish.

While we were there, it almost seemed like that the tuk-tuk drivers don’t really make good business any more (no wonder with their attitude). We’ve maybe only seen a handful of occupied ones … Anybody notice the same?

A tuk-tuk is a widely used in Bangkok and other Thai cities. It is particularly popular where traffic congestion is a major problem, which is the case in Bangkok pretty much 24/7.

Scene 3.

This was on our last day in Bangkok. We were exhausted and therefore skipped the train to the airport. Depending on the rush hour,a taxi drive to the airport would cost about 350-400 Bath. And since I didn’t want any hassle I asked the first taxi driver how much he wanted (before stepping into the car). He said 700 and I told him I’d only pay 400 and he could either say yes or no. He said yes. But the hassle was still to come. Again, after about 500 meters, he stopped the taxi, tuned around and said: ”So much traffic today, you pay more … maybe 500 Bath.” This was it for me. I asked him what in the world his problem was and why he was fine with 400 before if he now wanted 500? I was soooo ready to get out of the cab and I had enough of arguing with this guy. In the end, he reluctantly gave in.

Résumé: They are ALWAYS after your cash, so be aware!

Bangkok’s traffic problem has been getting worse since the government introduced a policy to refund tax for first-time car buyers. To stay out of traffic, take the Skytrain or Subway.

My tip.

• Take the bus, Sky Train or Subway! Buy a day ticket and you’ll not only save money but also unneeded hassle.